It’s no secret that I have been on a roller coaster of highs and lows as I battle the stress that future exams inject into my life. Whereas our American neighbours across the modest pond that is the Atlantic Ocean have their ‘finals’ in the April/May portion of the year, over here in the UK our torture is more prolonged – and my personal exam-doomsday is scheduled for a couple of weeks in June.
In an effort to become a super-efficient studying machine I dedicated an entire evening to formulating my revision timetable for the next 7 weeks – yes, 7 long weeks of every single minute being accounted for – so unnatural.
Now that I am out of options, with no acceptable reason to procrastinate without risking epic failure, I have become more possessive over my time. Gone are the days of mindlessly watching every possible show on Netflix (because my free trial happens to be over…not because I have impeccable self-control to give it up voluntarily), I am currently fixated on making the most out of every hour in the day. But such focus (yeah, right…) comes at a price my friends and family are finding a bit too expensive. Firstly, my phone is severely neglected. There’s no energy left in my brain after a day of crying over confusing textbooks, to reciprocate the attentions of those who love me. Although I don’t do it intentionally, I’m not sure everyone else understands that. Secondly, I don’t do anything ‘fun’ – but again, I don’t think that everyone believes me. I spend every waking moment either actively studying or thinking about studying – by any standard, my life is super dull. Thirdly, what little time I get to myself is so precious to me that I turn into a growling beast trying to protect it. The usually relaxed version of me has run off, leaving behind an uptight, frustrated and unstable version of a human being.
When you don’t have the luxury of time, any time holds a tremendous value. I’m trying to stay optimistic, after all, if things go well I will be having a very enjoyable summer being my wonderful (oh, and modest) self again. But my plans would be in jeopardy if I don’t take this period of time seriously and try my best to focus. For the moment, my time is used up with activities which are really necessary but not really what I would like to do, which means that my time isn’t really mine. However, every so often I get to steal a little time for myself, and that is when I want to rest and relax – and in order to do that I have to become possessive and protective over the short spells of sanity I get. You honestly can’t blame me, can you?
I shouldn’t have the time to become a Netflix zombie!
Like most human beings, I like free stuff. Things automatically become better when you don’t have to part way with your money – admit it.
So when Netflix was running one month free trial there was no hesitation in signing up. For one whole month I watched back to back series of TV shows I had never previously spared a thought for, and indulged in movies I would have never been interested in otherwise. As you could probably guess, my productivity and outgoingness plummeted.
I abused that free trial. I had some random show running in the background whilst I was busy with other things, just because I could! I watched as much as I physically could, and the cheesy repertoire of movies and TV series did not deter me from wasting hours of my life hooked up to Netflix.
Oh, you just want to watch one 20 minute historic episode of a show which you are up to date with in real life? How about we count down to the next episode and the ultimate binge?
But the free trial was only for a month. At the end the unproductive 30 day streak of being another Netflix zombie I was released from my chains. Like most people who do a free trial for anything I had no intention to stay signed up.
Quickly, my life became my own again. I continued with hobbies that I had ditched so thoughtlessly when I was glued to my computer screen. My productivity jumped up. I restarted conversations with friends I hadn’t seen for a month. Yes, my life was back on track. And it stayed that way for a year and a half.
Then one day, for reasons still unknown to me, I entered Netflix into the trusty search engine. Bear in mind this activity was done on a computer which was recently purchased – brand spanking new. Oh and my internet provider had changed three times since my last Netflix stint. Anyway, soon after closing the browser window there was no trace of Netflix in my memory. Life continued unaffected.
Three weeks later my very smart phone informed me of a new email in my inbox. It was from Netflix! WHAT? HOW? HUH? For an entire year and a half since our break up, Netflix doesn’t acknowledge my existence but now it has hunted me down and wants to lure me into another trap. It was an eerily personal email – as if some employee was given the sole task of waiting on my possible interest in wasting my life again. They had figured out I was stingy and were offering me another free trial. I resisted – I am in exam season after all, my waking hours should be spent memorising textbooks, and my sleeping hours should be minimal. I resisted because I had other priorities, important ones I couldn’t jeopardise for a few hours of visual entertainment.
Unfortunately, like a chubby kid who was offered a chocolate cake, my resistance was futile and soon enough I signed my life away. Now my days are spent watching archaic episodes of Modern Family and movies which never did well in the box office – for a reason. I have an entire month of this. But it won’t become a monthly commitment – and my reasons are not just monetary, but I need my life back. These are the moments when I wish for more self-control, for strength to resist the charm and lure of free things. I will work on all of that, once I’m done watching the desperately unfunny stand-up comedy show which has been running in the background as I write this post.
After I had a long internal discussion with myself and finally managed to persuade myself to cut out the sugary goods from my daily nutritional intake, I was a happy bunny. I felt thin already! Just the act of saying “no, I will not buy that chocolate bar” in the imaginary scenario playing in my head, gave me confidence that this time I could do it!
I was good for the whole day – until it was lunchtime, and I was hungry. I tried to make educated food choices, and I reckon I did quite well. After all, it was only the first day. What do they always say? It’s a marathon, not a sprint, so you must pace yourself – and that’s exactly what I was doing. I paced myself with a croissant, maple pecan pastry and a packet of crisps. Of course, I went for the healthiest crisp I could find, after all, we’re on a diet right?
Lunch was satisfying, and I knew that I could avoid pastry for another 4 months at least – I have totally got this under control. I worked hard and I started to notice my fuel tank needed a top-up soon. After the disastrous lunchtime effort at a healthier lifestyle, I knew that I wanted to make myself proud by choosing a lighter option for dinner. I didn’t do too badly, some nice grilled chicken on a salad – if that’s not healthy I don’t want to know what is! I was happy…and then I locked eyes with the most gorgeous thing.
Hand-made chocolate éclair which was twice the size of a normal shop-bought one. It looked back at me. And our fate was sealed right there and then. I didn’t even think about resisting it – I excitedly handed over my money and became the owner of the most delicious chocolate éclair ever!
I had one last bite left, when it dawned on me – I may have psychological issues relating to (the serious lack of) will power. I ate the last bite. Suddenly, it all came back to me – the diet, the healthy food, the will to say no to the sugary goods. That’s it, tomorrow I’ll start again – but this time it will work.
In my very first post I stated that I wanted to inject a bit of creativity into my life. I needed to return to old hobbies and interests – drawing and writing – to boost my motivation for everyday reality. Posting on the illustrated moment blog and working on the storyboard for the upcoming videos has been so much fun, and a much needed change of speed to my usual daily routine. I have even found myself studying with more enthusiasm than before! However, it’s not all fine and dandy. I still have a To-Do list, longer than my arm, of all the things I must do, and I want to continue posting more articles and pictures. Despite there seemingly being 24 hours in a day, I always feel like I’m running out of time. It’s as if Time holds me at gunpoint and sadistically reminds me how inefficient I am.
It may sound childish, but I think a timetable or a schedule may help me out. I feel like designated timeslots for everything may be the complete opposite of spontaneous creative flow, but I have to try it. It’s no secret that we all would rather spend time reading, writing, drawing, TV-zapping or internet-surfing, than to concentrate on work and studies. It’s also no secret that long-term happiness comes from the achievement and development of skills and opportunities in both our professional and personal lives. With both aspects of my existence being so important, I think it might be time to find a more proactive solution to my problem.
Procrastinating is an innate human behaviour. That’s my opinion based on the highly commended science I made up whilst I was meant to be writing an essay. The ability to distract oneself from studying is something we all master early in our schooling careers, and whilst there’s an infinite number of things students shouldn’t dowhilst studying, I thought I’d just list 5 of them for your education and entertainment.
5 things you shouldn’t do when you’re studying
1. Pretend like you can study with a movie/TV show in the background
Ninja-kick your TV in the face!
Come on, we have all done this, and some of us still do (guilty). We think that we are mega-uber-awesome at multitasking and sit in front of the TV or computer with a textbook in hand, supposedly working. Sorry to burst your bubble but it just doesn’t work! You probably have a unique set of excuses when someone questions your very bad habit, I know that my favourite one is “…but I work better with something interesting to keep me motivated whilst I study“. Whatever your excuse is, that’s exactly what it is – an excuse! There is nothing more distracting to our brains than your favourite TV show or an action movie, and there you are…practically handing yourself to unproductivity. Having anything on in the background means you work slower than you otherwise would, and that you reduce your enjoyment of watching TV or ze vonderful internet. For all my fellow students out there, physically switch off your distractions, work hard for a set time then sit back, relax and let your eyes feast on the entertainment. Thou shalt not pretend any longer!
2. Sitting at your desk, daydreaming
Focus!
Oh, here’s another sin we all commit. Whatever you’re working on becomes dull, drab, boring…you start yawning – maybe you should take a nap, you look at the time…maybe you shouldn’t. You think you may be hungry, you are the stomach-growl whisperer. What should you eat? And you don’t realise it but you are lost in your own thoughts, metaphorically salivating over dreamland pizzas and burgers. Daydreaming by the desk happens to all of us, and sometimes it’s not such a bad thing. It can be refreshing to think about something other than your studies for a couple of minutes, and then return with new motivation and inspiration. However, the problem is when we run away with the unicorns and become lost in our thought bubbles. You waste time at your desk, inactive and unproductive, when you could just finish off your task at hand and then go enjoy yourself doing all the wonderful things you would have daydreamed about! When you catch yourself getting a bit tired, a little bit too bored with work, just take a minute to stand up, shake it off, stretch like a lion (the roar is optional) and get yourself psyched to get one more thing off of your To-Do list! Hocus focus!
3. Become convinced it’s time for a deep clean
Don’t let yourself become a cleaning zombie!
I am definitely a victim of this one! When it’s time to do work, my mis-wired brain thinks what I actually mean is “let’s clean the whole house“. I don’t just dust and tidy superficially…oh no, I reorganise and dig up history! Needless to say, this is a very time consuming form of procrastination, and if you let yourself get OCD about it, you could end up cleaning for several days! I don’t have any tips of how you should get around this one, apart from just don’t do it. Your brain is trying to think of every other activity you could do instead of working – it’s not like it would tell you to get and clean if you were watching TV or about sit down for dinner right? You can tidy up once your studies are complete, and then enjoy your squeaky clean room – but let’s face it…you wouldn’t think about deep cleaning unless you were about to sit down to type that essay!
4. End up on YouTube
internet coma!
I do it. You do it. Everyone does it. Once the computer is switched on you will be on YouTube. You might be incorporating point 1 with this (pretend like you can study with a movie/TV show in the background). Unless you’re watching one of those super useful education videos, which are explaining in human terms how you should go about finishing off your homework, yes unless you’re doing that…you’re just wasting your time. YouTube is great entertainment, one can spend hours on it just clicking through the related side videos – before you know it the clock reads 3AM. Unfortunately, there is no room for YouTube when you should be working hard! It’s the mother of all procrastination methods, because there is never an end to the chain of videos you can watch. I once watched a video where a very nice man rescued abandoned dogs, and came out of an internet-coma 2 hours later! It’s a habit we all do, if you have a favourite site (mine is YouTube) you switch on the computer, open your browser, type the first letter and your computer is so lovely to remember your addiction on your behalf…and there you go…that’s valuable study time out of the window! Don’t do it. Don’t. You know you are the weaker one, and you will be sucked in by those pesky psychic recommended videos! Close your browser and focus. After all, distance makes the heart grow fonder and videos funnier.
5. Frown
NO FROWNING!
Maybe you’re studying a really hard topic, it’s tough, difficult and impossible. Maybe you’re working on something frustrating, it’s tough, difficult and impossible. You don’t realise it but you’re probably frowning. Stop it! Learning and studying is the mastery of life…not kick-starting the ageing process. By relaxing your face you will prevent those painful headaches and may even feel calmer whilst you are working away. It’s important to let work get you down, it is just another aspect of your life and you will overcome it to achieve great results. Be proud that you have gotten this far and feel inspired that you have the good health and energy to tackle it’s challenges. Try to be interested in your topic of study, read a bit more in depth to find something about it that really pulls you in. Remember that everything you learn adds to your existence. You will have something new to add to a conversation with friends, colleagues and teachers. You may stumble upon something unexpected that you would like to pursue further. Who knows? Try to keep an open mind, willing to learn and have fun. However, if what you are working on is so very much so so so dull, just remind yourself that once adrenaline kicks in about a day or two before your deadline, you will be on fire and complete it in record time!
illustrated moment 