illustrated moment

making sense with words and pictures

Is my time really in my possession?


It’s no secret that I have been on a roller coaster of highs and lows as I battle the stress that future exams inject into my life. Whereas our American neighbours across the modest pond that is the Atlantic Ocean have their ‘finals’ in the April/May portion of the year, over here in the UK our torture is more prolonged – and my personal exam-doomsday is scheduled for a couple of weeks in June.

In an effort to become a super-efficient studying machine I dedicated an entire evening to formulating my revision timetable for the next 7 weeks – yes, 7 long weeks of every single minute being accounted for – so unnatural.

Now that I am out of options, with no acceptable reason to procrastinate without risking epic failure, I have become more possessive over my time. Gone are the days of mindlessly watching every possible show on Netflix (because my free trial happens to be over…not because I have impeccable self-control to give it up voluntarily), I am currently fixated on making the most out of every hour in the day. But such focus (yeah, right…) comes at a price my friends and family are finding a bit too expensive. Firstly, my phone is severely neglected. There’s no energy left in my brain after a day of crying over confusing textbooks, to reciprocate the attentions of those who love me. Although I don’t do it intentionally, I’m not sure everyone else understands that. Secondly, I don’t do anything ‘fun’ – but again, I don’t think that everyone believes me. I spend every waking moment either actively studying or thinking about studying – by any standard, my life is super dull. Thirdly, what little time I get to myself is so precious to me that I turn into a growling beast trying to protect it. The usually relaxed version of me has run off, leaving behind an uptight, frustrated and unstable version of a human being.

When you don’t have the luxury of time, any time holds a tremendous value. I’m trying to stay optimistic, after all, if things go well I will be having a very enjoyable summer being my wonderful (oh, and modest) self again. But my plans would be in jeopardy if I don’t take this period of time seriously and try my best to focus. For the moment, my time is used up with activities which are really necessary but not really what I would like to do, which means that my time isn’t really mine. However, every so often I get to steal a little time for myself, and that is when I want to rest and relax – and in order to do that I have to become possessive and protective over the short spells of sanity I get. You honestly can’t blame me, can you?



Author: illustrated moment

illustrated moment was born out of a desire to create and connect through drawing, animating and blogging. Check out the active blog of awesome and become a follower - so you can be in the loop with all the awesome updates. Enjoy!

6 thoughts on “Is my time really in my possession?

  1. I totally understand the need to cling to your limited time, like your very life depends on it. You get to a point with certain responsibilities (like exams) that you just have to buckle down and do everything it takes to get through them. While I graduated from college several years ago (yeah, I’m pretty old at this point, I guess), I still struggle with the same thing. When it comes time to go into lock-down mode, some people get it and some people don’t. I hope your friends realize your awesomeness and bare with you while you do what you need to do for yourself. Best of luck studying…and keep up the good work. You sound like you’re prepared to give it your best shot and I imagine you know exactly what you need to do to tackle and conquer them.

    • Your comment MADE MY DAY!
      Thank you so much for your encouraging words – you know what? We’re officially BEST FRIENDS now!

      • Awww…I’m glad I could make your day and that we’re now best friends because of it…ha ha ha! Hope you’re hangin’ in there! 🙂

        • 🙂
          I’m hoping that my efforts are rewarded…because let’s face it, there’s a huge part of me that just wants to burn the textbooks and hang out with the Sun!

        • Sorry I never replied to this comment! Haven’t had a chance to check in lately. Hope your efforts have been rewarded, my friend! Maybe you’ve gotten the chance to hang out in the sun? Hope so!

        • Exams start on Monday! It’s been a long time coming, with tonnes of preparation but you know that feeling of not quite being ready…EVER? Yep, that sums up my thoughts on the entire situation.
          But I would be lying if I didn’t tell you that I’m sort of excited for it to all pass – because I know the sun awaits my arrival!

          Hope you have been well!

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